6.16.2005

Rahu Ketu - Party time folks.

Rahu and Ketu appear to be the most unwanted souls in anyones life. They are neither here nor there, neither alive nor dead or maybe they are both alive and dead at the same time(complicated, i know). Rahu represents the living head and ketu represents the dead body. Rahu appears to be the problem area while ketu, doesnt seem to have a choice at all. Another soul in this realm so not figured out is Shani or saturn who shows up in our lives in a cyclic pattern.

I do not know much about these guys/energies/whatever, but i do know that they have been causing havoc in my life. So while i go through hell, they have fun, partying at my expense, taking every pleasure of mine while i writhe in worry. I tell you they are a handful. Infact while i used to recite prayers (sanskrit shlokas), i often used to wonder, who is it that these prayers go to?

Today in a rather offbeat conversation i stumbled upon a startling discovery. Of course it needed a few inputs from a very close friend of mine, but what he unwittingly put down were a few pearls of wisdom. It was a collective realization later on for both of us. We come from a non astrological background, hence trying to understand the stars and planets is of great effort to us. He just said that it is believed that all 9 planets, rahu, ketu, sun and moon included, surround us all the time. This means that they are always there in a form we as mortals will never percieve. They decide what we will say and what we wont, what we do, what ever. In short they rule us. Trust me that doesnt feel good.

Interestingly the position of these guys is diagrammatically represented as jadagams or kundali or horoscopes in grids of 12, keeping the human being in the center. I would love to believe i am thinking right, i might be miserably wrong. Now, i am not questioning the process of learning these charts and predicting future based on it. I am just visualizing me walking down the road with 12 celestial bodies around me, arguing around me deciding how i will behave by the hour, with respect to anything else that governs my movements.

Now does that feel like chaos! a bunch of guys tearing each other apart and I get to have a miserable life as the result. Feels so good. Now the recitation of the mantra, deliberately and with complete devotion can counter what these guys decide for me, or appease them. So the result is that shit will happen, but not half as painful as expected.

End result, some jackass will scratch my car, and scribble all over it, hurting me right in my heart, but I will just about be happy they didnt break the glass, or take the brakes off which is a nightmare.

Coming back to the fact that there is a so called imaginary grid around me each square ruled by a celestial being with certain attributes makes me feel like i am a walking talking yantra, completely unaware of my capabilities. With this i hope i destroyed any sense of Maya around me, for the bottom lying truth is I am something of value and i myself dont know it.

Hell.. it took me 30 years to know it, now it will take another 30 to understand it, another 30 to realize it if i am lucky and another 30 to live with it in ecstacy... i would be dead by then!

What a life!

6.13.2005

Dayakattai - Shakuni at work




Lakshmi and I had a serious conversation today. It was about the game of dice and the state our mind is in when we play the game. This is not all about strategy or luck, this is about destiny. Lakshmi is a person who does not take to random theory very easily but knowing the game and having played it, we had this errie feeling that there was more to the game than just playing it.

So we sat down to analyze. Why is it that some guys always win, why is it that some guys always get dayam, why is it that some guys just never ever get it. The probability of getting dayam is reasonably high given that in 30 rounds of trial each with a few extra rounds thrown in there is a good chance. But this not resulting in a dayam even to the middle of the game leaving the person a dummy and starting to play yet, was a little too much to believe. End of the day there are only 7 numbers to play with, yet the number One never comes.

So we broke it down further, bordering on something way beyond our existing logical thinking. The diagram of the dayakattai, looks like a yantra with a lot of squares or "kattams". The four offshoots from the epicenter are in the four cardinal directions. Coins used here in the game are largely dry fruits or edible stuff. The players have a role to play as well, their nature has an impact on the game. The sticks (brass, steel or iron) also have a role to play in the destiny of the game, including even the choice of partners.

The dayakattai board didnt look any different from the horoscope charts they scribble on back home. Each kattam seems to have a value named after some star or force, houses some sort of energy and the probability of winning the game is high if a person knows how to play it right. Now taking the most renound player history has ever known, Shakuni, was very aware of how to play the game, maybe which direction to sit, the kind of coins to pick and the very dice to roll to win. He had it all very figured out, there was no room for error, the kauravas would never have lost the game.

As for the pandavas, they seemed to be the most willing goats to fall into the trap. Dayakattai is not just a game, it is a science I would begin to believe and to get it right would probably be a break through all that western science has tried to prove. I seriously think this game is quite something else.



6.09.2005

Sembiyan Mahadevi goofed! Shiva is incomplete without Parvati.

Tanjore, Tamil Nadu:

Sembiyan Mahadevi: A chola queen, widowed but enterprising, wanted to make the temple a prime center in everyone's life even with the rising pro-brahmin drift in the society. The chola period witnessed a vast change in temple architecture, for the good or bad is still debatable. But the change indeed was brought about for political reasons and by that time, the dilution in cult principles had already set in.

The two earlier temples were built purely for Shiva, with no hint of the mother goddess except for her presence in outer niches. She was not depicted on her own, but always in the presence of Shiva as Ardhanarishwara. Through this period, the shiva cult was flaunted with building the Brihadeshwara temple at Tanjore and Gangai konda cholapuram. It also witnessed the initial move towards building the Chidambaram temple where the focus shifted.



The flaw at chidambaram

For the first time in the Shiva cult history, Chidambaram temple witnessed the construction of a seperate shrine for the Mother Goddess. This was to give the Mother Goddess worshippers a fair share of the pie, and perform their rituals within the temple, therefore keeping the attention centered around the temple.

In which case the arguement can run that they could have housed all the deities of other cults in the temple, to make it a single place of worship; this doesnt seem to have happened. This shows that there was definitely a rift between vaishnavites and shaivites. Politics has played a role in india, not in kingdoms alone but in religion as well. Vishnu never found a place of honour in Shiva temples. This seems to be evident from the Pallava period itself. The shore temple in Mahabalipuram itself shows that a Vishnu shrine had already existed, with a Shiva temple built around it. With this we conclude that there was enough diplomacy between the two cults to retain the reclining Vishnu in the shore temple.

Where the focus should have remained

Lets leave Vishnu out of this for now. The root concept of Shiva, that he is incomplete without Parvati (Mother goddess) seems to have escaped everyone's eyes. The Shiva linga itself is composed of the linga pitha which is the yoni housed in every Shiva temple establishes the presence of the female form in Shiva temples well within the garbha griha. The building of the Mother goddess shrine in big temples should not have been encouraged in the first place as she is already part of the Shiva temple. Although this move may have been feministic on Sembiyan Mahadevi's part, it was also to keep the focus on the temple.

Male egoism?

Well, that makes us think of another thing. Obviously, Sembiyan Mahadevi didn't go about building temples without the advice of the court astrologers and architects who followed the shastras to every word. Which would mean that in the entire ritual, for the worship of Lord Shiva, the shlokas recited worship Ganesha(Lord of the Ganas) first and then Lord Shiva. The Shiva mantras are very Shiva centric with no reference to the Yoni, which is a depiction of the Mother Goddess.

Why has it been eliminated? Why build a temple for Parvati next to shiva? What then, is the true meaning of Ardhanrishwara? We have forgotten the potent female form which has always accompanied shiva everywhere.

Why has the Mother goddess cult been supressed through the centuries? For that matter why have women been supressed through the ages? I do not plan to end this post in the feminist tone stating that women are superior or otherwise. I will stick to the temple.

The temple seems to have been the seat of all learning, community activities and ritual. Yet, the main point that Shiva is incomplete without Parvati was lost somewhere along the way. The temples added to the dillution by eliminating Parvati from the mantra recitals as well as from the niches of the main temple. Later, She was brought back as a seperate identity, with a niche exclusively for Her apart from Ganesha, Karthikeya and Lingodhbhava. This is not consistent.

In staunch shiva temples, the niches are occupied by Dakshinamurti, someone who looks perhaps like Trimurti or Brahma among other Shiva forms. Shiva in his various forms might be flaunted around, but the elimination of the Mother Goddess from prime worship in the garbha griha is a serious offence to the root principles of Shaivism.

Courtesy: Original photos©2002 Michael D. Gunther.

6.01.2005

Vilvam and I

Thiruvannamallai, 3 hours from Chennai:

Its a bright sunny morning, the air fresh as ever as i walked up the stairs to a wayside Shiva shrine along Girivalam. My thoughts entertain me as i ascend up the steps looking at all the other people going about their business. A deep breath, wondering what the gods have in store for me today, still choosing to believe that i am the One, God's favourite child the world around me just does not seem to see it.


This is a small temple located on the Girivalam road dotted with saffron clad sanyasas. a pretty picture actually, bringing in a feeling that there is more to life than what really meets our eye. this temple hosts a Shiva linga, well decorated and silent, with oil lamps lighting up the little room it is placed in. i walked up the steps into the small chamber before the main sanctum sanctorum and closed my eyes while the priest recited the pearls of sanskrit words falling out with his well modulated breath, the sound reverberating within the inner walls of the room enhancing the ambience, his voice still ringing in my mind well after his prayers are through.

I opened my eyes to see the beauty of the linga as the flames danced in front of it revealing every aspect of its beauty in the light. He walked out and showed us the brass plate as we received the holy flames and took the holy ash, a blessing of Lord Shiva. I sat at the temple a good while, observing the puja in action, the decorations and all the little things scattered on the linga pitha.

Rudraksha beads lay scattered along the rim of the linga pitha, while sets of rudhrakha necklaces crown the linga, alternating with jasmine flowers and vilvam leaves. The vertical center of the linga is decorated with vermillion and turmeric paste enhancing itself in a silver plated background. Straight down in front of it lay few fruits all looking pretty similar. I asked in curiosity, to know that lord Shiva is associated strictly with Vilvam. After a long discussion on Shiva, temples, pujas, philosophy, life, faith, truth, action, karma, he finally gave me a Vilvam fruit as part and parcel of a larger paraphernalia to keep with me.

There on started my journey, to know Vilvam. It just didnt stop with being a fruit. it took on a position far superior that i tended to respect its very presence in my life. A support of sorts, that took away all the "dristy" or evil eyes from me. I sat every day watching it, wondering when it would get spoilt, if it ever would. I assumed it to be like any other fruit, a life, short life...before it got rotten. But strangely as he had rightly said, Vilvam never got spoilt.

Day after day, i watched, prayed and watched Vilvam, it turnes shades. It was a bright green when it showed up, looking fresh as ever. Now it had taken on a faint brown overcoat, yet not spoilt. It changes color, color that indicated how my life had gone by, it felt like i was surrounded by evil eyes all the time. It cleansed me, of all the gore in my life, as it turned brown every minute. My heart began to melt, watching it take on the load, that i had put myself through so thoughtlessly. Slowly i began to notice a thin coat of fungus form along its head. In desperation i gave it a coat of turmeric thinking Vilvam would not survive the attack. Interestingly Vilvam stayed on strong, brown with all my sins, but rid off the fungus that had managed to take root on its surface.

I still look at it every day, admiring the vermillion on its brow as i dress it, collared in fresh jasmine flowers. I walked to the shop to buy fresh flowers asking the flower seller which flowers were the best for Shiva puja. She was so confident "Shivan ku mallipuu than poduva, Vilvam venuma" (they put only jasmine flowers for Lord Shiva, would you like some Vilvam). I stopped to think. this lady is illiterate to the best of my knowledge, yet she knows a lot more than i do living in the same place. I chose not to take my faith for granted, infact question it and find out. What good use is my education if i am not taught every aspect of my life, religion and ritual included.

Maybe Vilvam is there for me in more ways than one. I just dont know it...

5.30.2005

The seed of potency, the grid of power.

This is the journey of the seeker, the seeker in me. I have been going from pillar to post, trying to dig up my roots, understand my past, figure out "ME" the person, and answer the deep restlessness within my very being.

Its a journey that is still on, going places, teaching me things i just dreamt of and never even thought it would come true as a burning inner desire. I have been doing television serials with the UGC, which forced me to prepare and therefore read up. These things brought me to the books. I studied for a while, for long hours on end to find a few strange discoveries.

The first for me to stumble over was the ground plan of the Elephanta caves. Stangely interesting, its a ground plan, following the buddhist cave temples at ajanta, but very strictly a yantra in design. The pillared hall forms the various points within the yantra, while the Shiva shrine and the Trimurti take up the cardinal points adding to the growing enigma that surrounds these caves.



Moving on, shaken by the discovery a little, i had to prepare for Khajuraho temples as well. I was not too keen on these Chandela temples for their well sold out erotic sculptures, but the tantric practices that surrounded them intrigued me. Shrines dedicated to the "chausat(64) yoginis" added to the haze surrounding the mother goddess cult. This turned into a fury for information as the under currents of this mother goddess cult were felt all around shiva shrines. If not for yoginis one is bound to find the sapta matrikas around shiva shrines.

Khajuraho temples ended up being more breath taking than mere erotica. After going through Devangana Desai's book on Khajuraho, it was a complete eye opener that the erotic images that arouse the delight of the non-initiated, are actually yantras or hidden geometrical patterns that protect the temples. These are grosely misunderstood to have remote connections with the kama sutra or the like. I could have shouted out to the world that moment! What they actually indicate are the various points on the composition of the erotic sculpture that behave as points on the yantras that guard the temples from evil spirits. The interesting part is that the non-initiated will never know which erotic sculpture is a yantra and which sculpture joins the batch-processing lot.



Hmm... so we close in on these mysterious diagrams which get yelled out in all these ancient shrines. Further reading confirmed that all ancient temples kept yantras in the central sanctum sanctorum of the temples dedicated to the divinity being housed there and a ritual is performed with respect to the ruling king's "gotram" and "nakshatram". After this, interestingly, his angula or finger is used as the basic system of measurement for the temple construction. (will give more dope on that in another post).

But well lets come back to these geometrical patterns. A diagram, housing a syllable, sounds like nothing to the un-initiated but means a whole new world to someone well versed with it, or trying to know it at least. A single bija mantra at the bindu or center, and that is the summary of potency well beyond our imagination. Its a crazy world beyond logic as we understand it. It could be chance, it could be an equation of which i still have not managed to understand anything, but i know it certainly works.

Yantras are to be understood, to be felt, to be respected and worshipped. They are not toys for a greater future, with an easier life, more wealth, better health etc. Yes, those things will come in, but its interesting to see how the recital of a mantra, sitting on a grass mat, with a yantra in a brass plate with a few offerings and an oil lamp can make all the difference. It requires persistence and complete dedication.

Truely amazing. I can tell you this much, most people stop with faith to a certain extent, but getting into the depths of it is a challenge. Its about putting yourself on the line to find out and see the result which might not necessarily be as expected, but is an enlightenment anyway. Its about risk, into the unknown world, where things can go really well or drastically wrong and all that you cling onto is love and faith. Yantras wake you out of mundane reality, uplift you from a suffering called life and make you look at problems as if they are nothing.

Its a world which you enter just once and never leave. Its what lies just beyond human ignorance.

5.26.2005

Kalahasti - the land where Vayu is felt

Kalahasti, 43 kms from Thirupati: Abode of Shiva

The Lord has strange ways of displaying his presence, here he does it with wind. I will not go into the depths of what Kalahasti is about for i didnt completely understand it to my own satisfaction. I used to believe it was a Linga I saw back in there, now it has additions when I went up close. A spider, an elephant and a snake make up the Linga.



View Location Map of Vayu Linga at Kalahasti

There is a difference though, the place has power, a strange magnetic attraction which has succeeded in engraving that image in my mind for good. A simple but potent garbha griha, its something i had always dreamt of... the perfect image of the central shrine of a potent ambiguous cult, with the cult icon silhouetted against the oil lamps, with the air smelling of camphor. The minor snake elements just intrigue me towards the supporting serpent cults. There is a strong undercurrent of potency and ambiguity that surrounds this place, giving a feeling of desperation to want to know and so complicating that it leaves you in a haze.

Kalahasti is a place reaking in corruption like all other south indian temples. The temple priests are lethargic as hell and doing an "archanai" can be the most painful task. They ask you to put money into the brass plate for every move of their finger. Or worse still they dont even go up to the deity to do the arthi, they stop at the door step. If that was not all there are electric lights in all the garbha grihas. These priests are pretty shameless and it can end up in a depressnig experience. So lets forget about that.

Coming back to the inner sanctum sanctorum of Kalahasti, somethings have remained unchanged. When i walked into the mandapa the ambience quite got me. The air is cool (because of the air coolers) and as you are taken through the endless queues (another sign of corruption and population control),you go right round along the path of circum-ambulation. The exterior walls depict dakshinamurti, lingodbhava murty and someone who is a trimurti look alike. the facade is silver plated and when you look inside, its dark and just oil lamps glow in there revealing the potent presence inside. There you see, clearly the presence of the vayu linga, the flames of the oil lamp dancing in a very channelised wind that seems to be present inside the garbha griha and doesnt shake any other flame in there.

The walls are white, rocky and all encompassing, the floor shimmers in the lamp light, the cult icon, unlike other lingas is vertically long and dressed in gold which displays various elements in the dim light. This sits on a yoni pitha, but the lighting inside just melts anyone's heart. I felt drawn towards it, like nothing else mattered, drawn so close that the world looked small... that problems disappeared, they simply didnt matter anymore... they were redundant in front of what stood ahead of me. I could have left my soul back there, never to return, to teach me all that it hid from my naked eyes, to elevate me away from my mundane existance...

It brings me back to Shiva, silent, potent, who waits for you to accept him. Feared for no reason at all. I walked out in a trance, for what had just happened was beyond my imagination. I was told to come here, to receive thirtham, during the hours of the afternoon and sure enough I had driven down from chennai to get there on time. I was told to light the lamp at the gaja stambha and I had already done so, but I was nervous about the thirtham. I had taken the general queue, not paid a penny for the darshan and now I stood at the entrance of the garbha griha. I had walked in promptly only to be stopped by two security guards, so i stepped back. I stared inside and the sight just over whelmed me.

For some strange reason, the guards told me to go back in... right inside (upto the antarala or vestibule that seperates the inner most sanctum sanctorum from the mandapa outside). I couldnt believe my ears. I was told to enter the 500 buck queue for paying nothing at all. I gasped, and walked in savouring every moment I had in there, I couldnt think, I just observed the room and thanked god for granting me this view - Up Close.. real Up Close. When I went closer, the priest gave me the most sort after thirtham, I savoured the mouthful as it trickled down my hand. I felt so small and so blessed, it was like the lord has invited me inside himself. I walked out silent, smiling, shell shocked, shaken, blessed, protected, accepted, enlightened.. leaving my melting heart back in there for good.

5.24.2005

A Glimpse of the Lord - Govinda Gooooovinda!

Tirupati: This is the richest temple in the Indian subcontinent, and truly, you know it when you are there. Getting a glimpse of Lord Venkateshwara at this temple is not easy and it calls for immense faith to get that rare glimpse.

People across the country travel miles to get here, wait endless days for accommodation and boarding till that final glimpse is achieved. It’s a long trek to paradise to see Lord Venkateshwara who silently waits testing the devotee in every step he takes.



Getting to Thirupati, the harder way is a long drawn process. The shortest entitles you to be either a politician or the like to get the "instant glimpse" but if you are common man, guess you struggle harder. People come to thirupati from all walks of life. It depends on how rich you are and how much you are willing to blow up for an easier darshan, as the lord waits there patiently for your arrival. You can zoom up crossing the seven hills by car or bus taking 45 minutes to get there, make sure you start the climb before 10 pm, they shut the entrance after that. Or you decide to walk the stretch on seven hills in four hours with occasional breaks.

Lets take the walk up with Srinivasan, an ardent devotee of the Lord. The first is a climb, where flights of steps staring at Srinivasan as he makes a slow trek up to kali gopuram (the glowing gopuram you see from a distance indicating the hill after sunset. It has nothing to do with goddess Kali). These are steep flight of steps testing him as he puffs his way up looking up every time to see the never-ending steps leading to the top, while the hillside bakes in the sunlight. Along the way as he is taken by fatigue, he can see that the devotion of the people is etched into the stone steps. Fresh coats of turmeric and vermilion adorn these steps screaming out the back pain of all the aspirants who tried to make it up the hill, bending over to add their bit, saying "Govinda Gooooovinda" along the way.

The echoes of this sacred name "Govinda Gooooovinda", brings in the inspiration to reach the top of the first hill. People yell out the Lords name as they ascend up the hill, taking occasional breaks to catch their breath. Once Srinivasan reaches the top of the first hill, there are enough refreshments to take him up the climb. Well at least he has now covered the first climb.

Now it gets a shade easier. The walk along the hillside displays deer sanctuaries; vegetation and forests with wild life add ons. Now the crossing of 7 hills is more like a cruise as the maximum height of a flight of steps is about 7 to 8 at best, still bright with the glowing fresh coat of vermilion on turmeric paste. People chat along the way, families make friends with other families, people tend to know each other, bonding and talking about themselves or the divinity and spiritualism. They make the climb slightly more entertaining with occasional outbursts of "Govinda Gooooovinda" along the way, making it even more pleasurable spiritually as every one along the stretch shouts along adding to the common community spirit, enhancing the feeling of devotion. Srinivasan adds his bit of "Govinda Gooooovinda" as he continues his climb up the hills.

This is a two-way passage, which also has people coming down the hill, most often tonsured as they have offered their hair to the Lord. Tonsured heads are easy to find along this stretch, it’s not for style, its sacrifice. As the hours crawl by and even the conversation take a toll on the mind, Srinivasan now walks in silence thinking to himself... about life, family, god, spiritualism, or what ever is lined up to do when he goes back home with occasional "Govinda Gooooovinda" echoing along the way. There is a point when the walk up meets the road to drive up.

This is a beautiful stretch along a now lonely hillside, with occasional vehicles zooming up the steep slope along the cliffside. This stretch has a few interesting things to offer. Two places along the cliff for a view of the valley below, which Srinivasan looks over to get a fair idea of the height he is at which until now was not visible. Steep cliffs, drenched in monsoon clouds at the right time of the year, displaying beautiful waterfalls in the very lap of nature. Among the wet rocky cliff sides is a shrine of Ganesha,carved into the cliff. Srinivasan stops by to pay his respects to the deity and carries on with his walk up. The walk goes on, it bridges the way from one hill to another and finally leads Srinivasan to the last climb. This is the last and final climb up, steep, intimidating and exhaustive along a steep cliff edge, all for that one glimpse of the Lord. Oh! What a beautiful sight.

Once on the top, it doesn't feel like Srinivasan climbed the hill at all. It feels like flat ground, with Lodges and hotels in all shapes and sizes advertising themselves to Srinivasan to take refuge and rest his tired feet, and the worst - people, people, people everywhere. It feels like the entire Indian population is parked here. Having tested his capacity to walk up seven hills and walk to the temple is not the end of the test, what lies ahead is even tougher. The three-hour wait, two if he is lucky, one if he really pays his way through, it’s no joke. Most people who show up here are very aware of this fact.

Srinivasan now finds himself waiting in claustrophobic passages, getting narrower by the minute, there is no chance of going to the loo if he gets into these queues, and he has to wait for hours for the queues to move. It feels like animals in cages and the long winding passages are to be seen to be believed. Yet the devotion is so strong that Srinivasan will wait for hours to see that one glimpse of God.

Along these long narrow passages are inscriptions along the stonewalls, relating to the time of Krishnadevaraya, of the Vijayanagar empire. Finally the crowd heads towards the shrine and Srinivasan moves frantically with it in anticipation of that one glimpse. For that one glimpse, he has traveled so long, for that one glimpse that he has longed for, has dreamt of in his sleep for, has been restless about and has come to Tirupati to fulfill this one desire, that glimpse! That one glimpse he longs for, which attracts a million Indians to this temple every year. He enters craning his neck to see the Lord standing in silence at the far end of the inner sanctum.

Finally the moment comes, when Srinivasan is now nearing the most wanted place to see the Lord completely, eye to eye, standing right in front of the deity, its this moment when he thinks about all that he did to see this one glimpse of The Lord, the restlessness, those claustrophobic queues and waiting for hours in dingy rooms to get this one glimpse, that long walk and those miserable energy sapping climbs to see this one glimpse, seems to have finally paid off. Finally the crowd moves in, the sound of "govinda goooovinda" fill the air which has "om namah narayanaya" humming in the background, oh the air, the smell of incense and finally the last walk into the sanctum.

Srinivasan enters, being pushed through the crowd, as if in a trance, speechless with a blank mind forgetting his entire wish lists when he comes face to face with the Lord. Its the moment of that one last glimpse, which he is so over whelmed with that he bows to the Lord in complete humility and prays for those few seconds he has been granted - with Eyes Shut!!!

5.17.2005

A wholesome brahmin meal!

Declared as the most hygienic meal in the world, this is a spread to be seen, tasted and enjoyed. Authentically speaking, the dishes are served in a banana leaf, which is cut and washed and laid out in a line, narrow side to the left of the person. All the family members sit on the floor and get served. Big leaves for the male adults, small leaves for the children, women eat later - standard practise! (interestingly the men dont even bother to ask if the women had a filling meal.)

A typical practise is to start serving with the payasam(or sweet) at the bottom right of the leaf. Next to follow is the main course. No body starts the meal before the side dishes are served first. This would include two curries, typically beans in coconut, and dry potato if you got lucky, typically rationed...all good things are rationed. Along with it is "pollangai kuutu" which has turned yellow showing the turmeric presense in it. A pickle is a must and so is the apalam/ papadam(the greatest invention of man, something that is jealously guarded and unfortunately rationed - i never understood that though). These kuutus and curries are assigned places on the banana leaf. The occupy the upper section of the leaf beyond the midriff away from you. The dal, of course is at the bottom right next to the payasam. By now the payasam would be meandering to the center of the leaf or probably out, so your fight to keep the food within the boundaries of the leaf has begun. Ha! wait till the rasam comes!!!

Once these are served, the big guys show up, hot steaming rice served from a plate and not from a vessel, and the ghee and the sambar! A few faces would fall if what fell out with the sambar were healthy drumsticks laughing at you on the descent to the leaf when you hoped to see small onions (man nothing like onion sambar with potato and apalam). The ritual begins, the older respected men folk pick up their steel tumblers and perform a small ritual, i would assume was offering the food to the Gods, who by now would have wondered whether the menu was all that great! ;)

This ritual (if i remember seeing it right) entails the person to put some water into his right palm, circle it around the banana leaf thrice, guiding the right hand with the left, the ring finger of which touches the elbow of the right hand along the way, dropping water into the kuutu, mumbling something(which i cant remember) and finally consuming what ever is left of it and sprinkling the remaining over their heads. there is a way of holding the palm... well what ever.. we discriminated women never got to learn it...will ask dad and come back.

Well by now, the meal begins, the payasam goes in first, then the dal gets mixed with the rice which now is soaked in sambar and all you can see is a bunch of drumsticks partying above it. They are promptly picked and left to the top right corner of the leaf, to be dealt with later. Why not consume it right away? well there is a reason!! if you consume any thing you dont like, you get served again and the pain of consuming it the second time is a pain you just dont want to go through. The avaraikaays and the drumsticks belong to the category of perennial vegetables in the leaf that just dont go down your throat till the end of the meal - hence the party!

The apalams and the potatoes invariably get over and a second helping is doubtful, increasing your psychological state that your hunger has just not died. This is a problem in brahmin households where we kids are always hungry because the good food is never enough while the brinjals and the less interesting vegetables always seem to come in for even a third helping. Post sambar rice, is rasam! A watery soup delicious to taste but hard to handle on a banana leaf if you are not accustomed to it. Its not a simple meandering stream in your leaf, its a flood!

Its an art to lift off watery soups with rice vigorously off your plate and not have it dripping along the way. Of course you would not want to see a few adults almost lick up to the end of the palms to stop the rasam from flowing down to their elbows. Its a sight!!! When you think the war with liquids is over in comes the second round of payasam which is served after the first two courses just before the grand finale - curd rice. The entry of curd rice into your leaf indicates you are at the end of your meal. Curd is an amazing creation and with rice its just simply out of the world. Its one of the coolest, simplest most healthy foods. Curd declares closure of the meal, by now all those drumsticks and kuutus have to get cleared if not done already. Every thing gets cleared leaving the leaf empty for the cows.

Meanwhile, handling boring veggies and fat drumsticks is an art. Either you have them to the end, to avoid being served again, which is the case when a painful uncle decides to chew your happiness and says in loud heehaws "hey serve her some more drumstick..." or the ever so generous women of the house decide to feed you well with the wrong things. So how do you hide these guys when you really dont want to eat them?

There are a few prerequisites for this. To start with you need to be served in steel plates, so that you can guide the drumsticks to the dust bin and not have a health concious aunt say " hey why did you leave it, dont you like it" very emotionally that makes you squirm on the way, worse mom hears it and makes you eat it, standing where ever you are, while the other cousins laugh triumphantly on the way declaring they have completed their meal, showing fairly clean plates.

But well if you DO manage to get to the sink, you simply take the less fortunate drumsticks and tuck them into a plate which was ideally used by another cousin so that he gets caught and you dont. Dont put in adult plates, they normally chew the drumstick so bad that you feel sad... "party is over guys", for what remains of the drumstick is a sad fibrous mass, from which every shred of life has been sucked out by extremely powerful set of teeth. They leave nothing to doubt. The drumsticks are now truly dead. If you dont get another plate to tuck the drumstick into, then put it in the dustbin, but be careful, hide it under something, for example, mango skin cleaned out, or an aavin/heritage milk packet, or coconut fibre which is on the top layer of the dustbin so that the wastage is not clearly visible. If it is there is a cry from the kitchen, "who wasted the drumstick" and all the kids end up pointing to each other. Its judgement time and all of us chose to avoid the confrontation.

Finishing a less interesting meal, is a task, where you psychologically read the mind of the elderly lady serving so that you dont call attention to yourself and hence dont have more drumsticks falling into your banana leaf. It used to be a lot of brain work to get those veggies into a very rebellious throat which would simply not approve of it.

And now when i look back after hostel and eating all over the place... i cant wait to just sink my teeth into drumstick and chew the last bit of life out of it!!!

I miss a truly amazing brahmin meal when i dont get one!

5.13.2005

A game of dice - dayakattai

Excuse my attempts at Tamil here but i shall try to make it sound as authentic as Iyer athu tamil.

Strategy, fun and one of the few things that really brings an iyer house hold together is the amazing game of dice. Its one of the most entertaining games i have ever played, with as much noise thrown in as linguistical enhancements to one of the ancient dialects of tamil. Yes, its entertainment for the next two hours from when the family gathers to play this deadly game of strategy, slaughter, war and victory.

Post brunch, after a filling 'sapadu'(meal) at 10.30 am, the family gathers together, mainly the men folk, the kids stricktly above the age of 4 (i guess) and of course our very famous pati(post madi business and puja) while thatha, the man of the house continues to snore in his easy chair hoping for silence. Yeah, so much for a peace in the house. haha


The number of people in the game mounts up to a good number like 12 odd people and trust me there is room for all as long as we end up in an even figure. To get this count right few strong attempts are made on the daughter in laws of the house to please join in to at least roll the brass sticks if not think strategy.

There is someone assigned to every position, two adults to think of strategy with pati in the lead, one uncle to play shakuni and invariably get those unattainable daayams (number one on the brass sticks) no matter how much you bid against it. The kids of course, being all equal get to roll the dice and hope to meet the expectations of all the adults around them. There are other beliefs too that surround this traditional game. Its normally played by the women of the house hold after the father-in-law has left and interestingly wiped off before he returns. Interestingly, the women folk take to this game more often where they send all the kids to schools, hubbys to work and sit back and play after all the house hold activities are over. My house, was a slightly diluted affair to the orthodox brahmin culture. The main players were MEN.

Daayam, or the count of 'one' on the ancient brass sticks, is your ticket to enter the game. This of course is hard to get. Its a mind set that takes a toll if the game has already begun and you still have not put your daayam, to open your innings and hence participate. It can be highly frustrating for you might just never get it till about half the game is over, your team has quite learnt to live without you but you are the irritant the other team is cashing on keeping their coins bravely on the "ambalam" or passage since they are so sure you will not be able to kill them.

The concepts pretty simple. Both teams have 6 coins each - traditionally represented by almonds, kishmish, "paaku", ground nut or the like. We move to stones, buttons, and plastic "ludo" coins when we cant lay hands on the appropriate "kaay". Kaay as they are typically called since they are the raw fruit yet to ripen which will happen only when the coin exits the board after covering the long journey back home through the "kattam" - the board.

Lots could happen along the way home, for one, your kaay can simply get killed when the opponent numbering 6 people by now, aggressively looking down into the game making calculations in not just the massacre of your single "kaay", but killing a few other less fortunate "kaays" that found themselves on the "ambalam" in the course of the game. That apart the calculations end in protecting their own kaays when they safely move them to a "malai" or home along the way. Interestingly when the opponent occupies a malai, there is no room for your coin, in short its called "malai manga".

By now the perssure is mounting furiously, while the opponent gets excess points or"pandyam" by putting - eer aaru, muu anji, iru panandu, iru daayam, naalu - translates to two sixes, three fives, two twelves, two ones and one four. Now this is a phenomenal "pandyam" where you can move any kaay anywhere, and kill any one you wish and still move your kaay to a home on the way if you got lucky. Pati is behind you with strategy that never met your eyes and when you see at least three of the opponents "kaays" go back in, to start the round again, well its a loud uproar piercing the air drowning thatha's snore into the din.

But well now, they will come back, the horror of massacre hits first, then the anger, the then aggression and the opponent comes back double, killing with a bigger blow, shooting as many kaays of your way back home as they possibly can. By now, even the most bored daughter in law sits up to view the game, the kattam, half wiped out by the deft hands that just flew across moving the coins so swift, that you dont even know what just went by. Every thing settles, the game goes on, one verses one coin - now in the ripe stage of "pazham". Killing a pazham is another thrill altogether.

The pain that the opponent need to go through to take the kaay across the kattam to bring it home without having it killed and elevating it to a pazham is a joy for anybody but him. Once the pazham has reached the ripe stage and has come home, there is the last lap.

Its a murderous position called "dokkai" where its the last step to "ripe fruit", and yet it can be killed. This hurts, being killed at this stage really hurts, and its over whelming joy for the opponent who by now are raising themselves very sure that its the end of the game. getting that single daayam, can take a minute or a century, but every one, just everyone waits for it. Its the defining moment or victory or failure, the anticipation is so high that tiffin and caapi can seriously wait.

finally the last roll of the dice, and "dddddddaaaaaaaaaaaayyyaaaaaaaaaaammmm". Six guys jump up, cant belive their eyes, jump around in ecstasy while 6 others sit silent looking into each others faces. The winning team of course takes the final pazham and consume it literally - and what a fine fruit that was!!!

The joy of having that particular kishmish/ almond/groundnut is different. It tastes as good as any fruit of victory will. Nobody even considers that the kishmish has been rolling along the floor for the last one hour, No, its the most delicious fruit one could have. This is crowned with the victory dance, the grand finale - i think its only at my house - where the team gathers, old and young, tall and short, male and female, hopping on the floor holding each others shoulders!!! And what a dance that was! you dont need to be intoxicated for this, just the trill of winning dayakattai is more than enough to send you on the high!

Great ancient game. Truely worth while.

5.11.2005

Coiled serpents on a wayside stelae

On the roads, Tamil Nadu country side: Coiled serpents on a stelae, sounds like something out of a fantasy in the middle ages. Well, not exactly, because its something you would invariably pass without taking notice of, every time you went to work.



If you looked closer, you would notice various version of coiled serpent stelae, but one of the most prominent is that of two serpents in two and half coils facing each other, housing a shiva linga in between. Maybe they are some naga cult icons under a tree, smeared with vermillion and turmeric.

Why is there so much of importance given to these icons, what do they signify and why are they all over the place? Well, someone had pointed out to me earlier that faith cannot be compared with language since its not logical. There is nothing more logical than the school of thought the surrounds these naga cult icons. Its all about energy... of course you need to believe in it.

Its a school of thought, that the energy of Shiva stays dormant as the potential energy while the mother godess represents the active kinetic energy that flows through the passages along the spinal chord. These are typically called the Nadis, you might have heard this before... but i will keep this one short. It is believed that when the female energy, also called the kundalini energy, is awakened in the aspirant, it sits up like a two and a half coiled serpent ready to rise up the nadis, crossing each chakra or energy center along the way till it finally meets the male potential energy and unites with it. This has been represented as the soma skanda panel depicting the union of shiva and parvati resulting in the birth of soma skanda.

Soma skanda is a debatable person. He could be karthikeya or a concept without a form. The idea behind soma skanda is to depict the union of the male and female energy which results in the flow of self generated amrita or soma which sustains the aspirant, hence forth eliminating his dependency on the external world around him. This subtle concept is depicted as a family panel for the understanding of the masses.



Now coming back to the cult icons, its interesting to see that this school of thought is plastered all over the place, and we simply dont seem to take notice of it. We do have the naga cults, but they were subordinate to the cult of Shiva and had a lot to do with him. The shore temple at Mahabalipuram clearly depicts cult icons of Nagas on the outer walls, resonably eroded, but clear enough to indicate the practices during the Pallava ages. This practise definitely has not died since, its very much alive getting a fresh coat of vermillion every morning, apart from flowers from passerbys who dont even knwo what its meant to depict.

Bottom line, our culture is all around us, its under the trees, in the temples, potent schools of thought scattered all around reminding us of what our forefathers have figured out well before the white man even started to think!

All we need to do is just open our eyes!

5.10.2005

The real Hinduism

The real Hinduism, is something of much debate. What is our culture, our real culture i mean. Culture is a good word, sounds great, everyone knows indian culture goes way back into several centuries, but sitting right here what do you or i know of it?

We were having a heated discussion on why women were being discriminated in temples, why women were not allowed into a few temples, whether the restrictions are male chauvinistic, or whether the rule is there with a scientific reason. Of course, the participants were two extremely opinionated women, including myself, and the discussion soared into the air, loud as ever drowning all the other conversations in the little room. Yes, no body would have seen two heated women like this in that room for a while.

We were mad, plain and simple, wondering why men got more privileges than us, just because they were born men, which honestly was not an accomplishment of their own! Why women are put down, seems to be a simple answer, they are just way way stronger in the head and sadly they themselves dont know it!

Anyway the conversation drifted into why we have good days and bad, does it have a logic at all. Why do we have this thing called rahu kalam, does it make sense, or is it plain superstition?

Well honestly, hinduism is a way of life, its not simple and its extremely potent which is why it has lasted all these centuries. It has depth, depth that we (a section of society) are unable to see and hence think its all bull shit. I dont understand when people say there is no logic, its all bogus. Its not, we are ignorant, period, and in our ignorance we end up making judgement when we are not even capable of it. Do you question language, No, you just simply learn it with all its idiosyncrasies, then why question faith??

Faith grows on you, through your life, gives you direction if you are strong and persistent enough to want it, just going to a temple is NOT good enough. You want answers... then go look for it, a Buddha did not get it easy, and neither did Christ. In fact they were sent through more grind than you think. Its simple, if you want to be God be ready to get stoned first. What a line!!

Coming back to us lesser mortals, since we are not planning to be Gods, but think its good enough to just get to understand Him/ Her/ It, let me assure you, its not an easy road and you are going to end up questioning it more than you think. Dismissing it off just becaue you do not get your answers in the next 20 minutes only goes to show how superficial you are and how much you are not willing to put in effort. If you want to know, you HAVE got to be passionate about it and dig dig dig till you think you get somewhere. End of the day, you are the loser if you dont get to know. NO body else suffers. SIMPLE.

I just know this much, real Hinduism is beyond your current way of life, you need to want to give yo materialism and greed, you need to want to be passionate with a single point focus, you need to want to control your emotions and not have them control you. You need to understand your emotions and appreciate them for what they are worth, they deliver the experience to you, they should NOT overwhelm you. if you get past all this, then you are somewhere near ready to take on the true nature of hinduism. The way of life, brings in routine and discipline to your otherwise haphazard life style. Its not simple, but well who said it was?

There is potency in this way of life and the only way to get it is to get your self neck deep in it. Next time you dont know something about Hinduism, probably you should accept your ignorance instead of ruling out the faith to be all bull shit. Remember this is one of the oldest religions, so what meets your eye is not the reality of it, its superficiality, the reality, is for you to find out.

5.05.2005

The fun in a Brahmin household.

We sat back having lunch, thinking about all the good old days when we were young, living the typical orthodox lifestyle as administered back home by Pati and Thatha (grandma and grandpa), in our good old Brahmin household.

Somethings don't change at all. I have noticed brahmins, at least the older ones or the more traditional and now i relate to them very well. The typical house, with kolam in rice powder at the door step leading the way into a reasonably dark room, with barely any furniture in it! Yes, somehow we never seem to have learned the art of interior decoration. The main living room as i would call it is probably one of the darker ones too with windows split into 4, 2 kept closed, largely painted green for some strange reason :)

The living room, sounds more exotic, but has almost no furniture except two wooden chairs and yes of course the plastic chair indicating the intrusion of modernity into our otherwise ancient backward lives. The plastic chair of course being as priced as the other chairs in the room, might be right next to the grandfather chair, which is close to being inaccessible to all except of course - grandpa. He sits there, in his mundu vesti, reading the morning newspaper, with "caapi" served when ever he asks for it, be it in the morning or with tiffin... One shelf if available in this room hosts all the objects on display, no matter how incongruous they look together.

The other rooms, remain rooms, largely nameless with papers hanging out of shelves, and of course the very famous Murugan calendar with dates gaping straight at us as Murugan continues to smile the whole year around. Its interesting to see such households can accommodate 20 people easily, the bedding kept in one room, all mattresses rolled up on a wooden bed, a single bed, maybe the only bed in the entire house :) there is an art in arranging bedding, starting from the mattresses at the bottom, neatly rolled and forming a reasonably large bulk in the center of the room. above that are stacked up a set of pillows, neatly one above three below leaving vertical room for bedsheets. various colors, various sizes, various textures line up above the pillows forming a large mass, which stares you in the face when you enter the otherwise really small room!

But of course sleeping in one of those rooms, with the fan way above making noise, a slow creek with a few cobwebs hanging off it, large wooden cupboards surrounding you, which seem to contain all the priced possessions of the household, stare down at you, lying in the center of the room sleeping blissfully. And trust me, what a sleep that is, cozy in a different sort of way, you need the noise, the wood, the partial darkness and of course the dim light streaming in through the green windows.

Somewhere in the rear end of the house straight above is the clothes line, not the general usage one but one exclusively for pati and her "madi business". this is a concept, the idea being one is completely pure when they come out of bath, in wet clothes and change into this other set that hangs down from the ceiling. they should not be touched until puja is over, and trust me this untouchability is bible! you better make sure you dont touch, lest pati gets mad at you! should that happen it means your ration of "bhakshanam" for the day is almost gone to one of your luckier uncles, who would be one of her most pampered sons!

There are those days of course when pati forgets her clothes and wants you to fetch them for her while she sticks her hand out of the bathroom door. While she waits we kids quite deftly need to pick her "bady" and underskirt off the clothes line way up near the ceiling and without touching it, carry it by the help of a long stick. Invariably there are accidents, the "bady" falls to the floor and one has to drag the stick along the "bady" on the floor trying to get it back on, finally giving up in frustration and hanging it hoping no one caught us putting it back onto the end of the stick. Slowly this highly respected piece of cloth is carted to the bathroom to now impatient hands yelling at us to hurry up!! every one moves, stick to walls, leave room for the articles to find their way through the pure air in the corridors of the house to the frantic hands still waiting to receive them. :))

The bath, well an even smaller room, with all the known containers inside, largely made of steel, brass or the like, take much of the floor, which has more craters than the moon itself. water is just about everywhere, and its hard to find a dry place to keep any clothes. The clothes hanger would be a hook or nail on the wall next to a half eaten door which barely closes the room, with as many holes in it as possible, the gaps between the wood almost increasing every minute, and the bottom half eaten by erosion? The door is held up to be locked by a single hook which threatens to give way anytime, you should see the confidence with which pati goes for bath, its unthinkable. cant believe i took bath there too!!!

Well anyway, now to the most holy section of the house, a room dedicated to the gods, ancestors, saints and anyone you want to put up on the walls. This is a room to see to believe, all the gods in teak wood frames smeared with vermilion stare down at you well just about all the time! This would include all vaishnavite human incarnations, the known swamigals in town, all forms of the mother goddess, lesser gods, greater gods everyone... and if they are really orthodox, you wouldn't miss the brass idols at the bottom with a whole new range of rule sets if there is a shaligrama in the middle of it all. This is a truly blessed household.

Last but not the least is the backyard, and the kitchen, surrounded in aromatic smells of a pure healthy brahmin meal in the making. Everything is done on the floor mostly, the cooking range being the only one on a "medai" which has two sections, the pathu and non pathu which segregates the boiled food from the unboiled, the milk and milk products given special importance. there are imaginary walls here, demarcations which define what food item can be kept where, and you are doomed if you get it wrong! i largely kept away from it.

Finally fresh air by the well in the backyard, with mango trees and potted tulsi maram(plant) and clothes of all twenty people lined up to dry on the general clothes line! what a life. truly a tradition fast dying out! I miss it.

5.03.2005

Girivalam - the journey

Girivalam, Thiruvannamallai (3 hours from Chennai), is a 14km stretch that circles the imposing hill, believed to be Lord Shiva himself. What appears to be an unassuming tar road, seems to speak volumes on life and death along its path. We started out, exploring Girivalam, more out of curiocity than with an intension of walking the entire mile.

The first trip we made was by car, at about 9.30 at night. We were told it was reasonably unsafe, though we figured it was not all that bad later. Girivalam hosts a number of way side shrines, holds the life of many sanyasas, who are either there looking for a higher truth or escaping from their reality by drowing themselves in ganja. Girivalam, has something to offer to every one who shows up there. It stays silent to all onlookers, stays peaceful to all passer-bys, holds burial grounds for deceased staunch shaivites and cremates a few other less lucky souls.

Every hill that stands across the path, against the main imposing hill, holds a temple. You would find every one here, Mother Goddess, Ganesha, Krishna, Kannappa nayanar and of course Lord Shiva himself. The stretch itself is covered by a canopy of trees, some shading Naga cult icons smeared with vermilion and turmeric, from the dreadful heat and sunlight. All over is a feeling of peace, and tranquility. In the night, the path looks different, errie for starters, when you walk past a cemetery hosting the cremation of a recently deceased man engulfed in flames, eating into the wood that was his final bed.

The whole stretch has eight lingas located on it, which when visited promise good life, wealth, health, no fear of death, status and what ever else you wanted from your mundane existance, hoping for an easy and better life. Most people come to seek such blessings.

Yes you get everything, as you walk along Giri Pradakshanam. But strangely, Girivalam has more to offer, if you are willing to look for it. The answers to all our inner searches, the next step when you are at a deadend seeking your own truths and just waiting for the "calling". Girivalam calls, to seekers and all you need to do is listen. Girivalam enlightens you to a reality beyond our lives, tells us how much we have been wasting our time looking for happiness in our mundane worlds. There is no happiness in seeking wealth, there is no happiness in human ties. The air of Girivalam holds a host of truths which you will see, only if you are receptive to it.

Girivalam shows life to you as it is. It houses the sanyasa, it houses the escapist, it houses the grihasta, it houses the dead, it houses the siddhas, it houses the Gods, it houses the animals. A complete universe pulsating with every breath of yours as you walk down trying to cover a 14 km stretch. Its indeed a walk through life and beyond... depending on what you want to see....


4.25.2005

Hinduism and its secrets

I have been studying a lot of art history and it has led me into a lot of other fields, made me ask questions, try and find answers which i must say have come to me in the strangest way ever!

for the last 6 months i have been dwelling on Lord Shiva, his forms, the places of worship, the characterestics of his temples ... well just about everything. I have noticed that just one things kept constantly coming back to me, and this was the basic yantra which defines everything, centrally the energy center for shiva. This caught my eye for a very long while and i just found myself at a dead end waiting for something to happen in reality, for me to see what all this was about. This research into Hinduism and to a certain extent "magic" if i can call it has led me to do and believe many things which are normally not expected of a city bred woman.

For one, I have realized a few things about this great society we live in, i have figured how happy they are to live in a make belief world where there are no troubles.... strange isnt it, how can you not have trouble, and why hope for a trouble free life where everything comes easy! trouble defines that circumstance that comes into your life which you certainly do not accept. Its the non acceptance(personally or socially) of it that leads it to be defined as trouble.

Second, the average man on the street is not willing to experiment more than he needs to with his faith. My father and a few other oldies in my family are not exactly sure that what am going into is the best for me. but fear rules them and i think thats what their down fall/ignnorance is all about. they will never get it. religion doesnt stop with going to a temple, you have not even scratched the iceberg of potency of faith if you think its enough to just display your so called religiousness, or know a few stories from mythology.

Thirdly, this religion has been tested by time, its lasted everything, obviously people were not dumb to just sit around carving rock all across the countryside, spreading a faith! somethings just never changed through the ages... thats what is our culture. The gods remained the same, those associated with the gods remained the same, the actions of ritual associated with the gods remained the same. look around you and you will know the next time you see a stelae with two entwined snakes carved into it, that ancient schools of thought are just a foot away from you, just silent, waiting for you to realize them...

All this starts with the complete faith and knowledge of yantras which are the stepping stone towards finding out more... of course you dont go about getting one until you are initiated.. and initiation is not an easy task. its meant for those who are mentally eligible for it. Am sure this flew above your head.. i know..lets leave it here, beyond this .. i cannot explain.

4.16.2005

Tantrik Cults and temples

The misconception to Tantrik cults in India is that it appears to be an orgy of sorts. The other biased opinion is that sex is wrong or bad. A good question would be "Why"? Its definite that those higher up in the social ladder have had extremely biased opinions and that definitely has trickled down to the masses over time.

The actual truth of it is this. Tantra is a version of the AtharvaVeda. It prescribes various rituals to one of the many activities of man in a day - sex. Whats wrong with that and why consider it bad? Tantrik cults have prevailed across india everywhere. The khajurao and konark temples speak for it so do the temples in the south, though not as explicite.

Why is sex important, or is it the lack of it that makes people commercialize something so sacred into an element of shock or silent delight? Why dilute the potency of the act or ritual? These texts help a human being attain a higher goal through sadhana and rituals which need to be performed with the right thought and respect. It was never simple, and living in a superficial world only dilutes the entire act to a mere performance with results that are satisfactory, leaving one to just imagine what the real thing would be like. Not that i know it, but i believe there is more to it than what meets the eye.

We cannot dismiss something that we fail to understand the first time and stupidity. You need to have patience, for the subtle world is not so easy to understand. No wonder its called "Subtle".

Temples at best can depict concepts at various levels of potency and its up to the aspirant to really try and understand it. What appears as a grose act on the walls of Khajuraho, actually hides something far more potent within its sculptures and people in their limited thoughts just think it stops with sex! These are tantrik diagrams, or yantras which are best understood only be the initiated and are meant only for them. The rest of the superficial guys can quite go fly a kite!

These temples depicted a way of life, whether it is the depiction of a devotee in the act of decapitation or whether its a human sacrifice on full moon night, whether its the worship of the Mother or whether its the fear of Kali, whether its an act of copulation or whether its a sensuous kanya entising a man to enter the temple walls, it has value and that is meant to be respected, not ridiculed. The temples silently tell us through their walls, that there is a world out there beyond our senses and we are quite wasting our time if we do not attempt finding it out.

Living the "real way" was never so simple, so the next time you head to the temple, ask yourself whether it stops with that, or whether you really want to know what the temple has to offer. Clarity come when you open yourself to receive it, till then... you wait.

3.22.2005

the truth

The Nataraja:

The origin of this sculture in its prototype can be taken right back to the Indus valley civilization with the seal that depicts a three headed god. This does not mean that the other two heads belonged to Vishnu and Brahma. A good many centuries down the line depict the same concept of the Trinity in the Shiva cave at Elephanta, off the Mumbai coast. Here definitely the three heads of the Trinity depict Aghora or Bhairava to the left, the center depicts Shiva Mahadeva and the right depicts Vamadeva (Uma).



Before you come back with a contradiction the introduction of Vishnu and Brahma into the Trinity seems more like a political move to me. I may be wrong here and you are completely entitled to your opinion.

The next form of the trinity as pure shiva symbolism is Nataraja in Tandava. Oh what a beautiful sculpture. The more i realize it the more the beauty of it i see. Perfect. Here it does not remain a scultpure anymore. But shiva comes to life. The concept of the trinity, or the concept of creation, preservation and destruction is not left for Doom's Day, but its meant to be part of every activity that we do. Every act of ours is either of creation, maintenance or destruction.
Here destruction is not negative, its not that something perishes, but its the end, as in the end of a particular activity, the completion of it.

When you start something, you bring life into it. it could be as simple as starting a painting, or buying a plant. the moment you bring your interest and attention to it, the activity is created. As you go about your business of painting or watering a plant the act of maintenance continues (preservation). When the painting is over or the plant has lived its life the end is near, it ceases to "exist". its complete. (with respect to the painting, i am unable to grasp the subtle reality of "existance", i am still biased that destruction means a sad ending/death).

In every act of yours there is Shiva. In every move of yours He rules. Isnt that just beautiful. I know for a fact that i am perfect when it comes to creating some thing or destroying it for that matter. But maintenance has been a problem with me until i realized this.

The appearance of the act of maintenance is boring on the surface. But as you put your mind to it, it transforms itself. The churning of your ocean starts, there is rhythm in your activity and you grow with it. You mature with it, realizing and learning along the way the beauty of the activity itself. Thats where only you are thoroughly enlightened and excited and nobody else can share that joy with you (because they have not been there). Thats a moment when you elevate yourself, the activity ceases to remain just an activity but something much greater than that, because you grew up to understand yourself better. Its a crazy feeling.. and the fact that you can't share it with anyone simply frustrates you. I would say, dont share... just cherish the moment.

Its worth a lifetime!

Oh Shiva is great. Simply great... and i didnt see it at all....i just didnt get to see it for so long.
Thank you GOD.

P.S. The trinity explains why Aghora is called the left hand path. (refer earlier posts on aghora)

3.19.2005

A tribute to Shiva.

Kiratarjuniya panel, Mahabalipuram:

I would wonder whether this panel is a tribute to Lord Shiva or a tribute to the beautiful verses of Bharavi's poetry on the Mahabharata. None the less, there seems to have been a beautiful merger of sculpture, architecture and poetry in this era. As you can see i am pretty overwhelmed by this whole thing.



Here stands Shiva, very clearly surrounded by ganas. The man in meditaion on one foot is either Arjuna or Bhagiratha. We have a view of all the celestials, the gandharvas, the kinnaras, so on and so forth. The reason again for this repetition is that I am seriously tending to believe that they exist, are not visible through normal eye sight but estabhish their presence from the spirit world in rather strange ways.

So much for my strange beliefs which seems to get reinforced only by ancient mythological panels and nothing else!!! somewhere i do hope am right.

3.17.2005

Shiva the hunter

Mahabalipuram:

Few people would imagine that an entire dynasty looked at plain rock surfaces as a canvas to depict mythology, and fewer would go all out to make it a reality. Mahabalipuram, witnesses creativity and passion of the pallavas during the 8th century AD. Here standing in the middle of rock outcrops are one of the most beautiful depictions from poetry of the same era.



The Kiratarjuniya panel: known for a particular episode in the Mahabharata, this panel has attempted to depict the story by throwing hints on various aspects of it. Here in this picture is the depiction of Lord shiva as a hunter. The beauty of this panel is that lord shiva is depicted as a hunter in various activities. Its like a comic strip, just the lower half, showing one man doing various things. Interestingly he wears a moustache, not very often depicted on sculptures of this era.

The forest is most beautifully carved into the rock. celestial beings fly across, gandharvas, kinnaras adorn the skies. the sculptors have obviously tried to show all the worlds at the same time. the real world as we see it and the spirit world as we would believe to see it.

the striking element of course is that of shiva who is seen in the right corner here. he is best identified by the ganas who are seen around him and he carries the trishul. interestingly he occupies the top center of this whole panel.

3.15.2005

The world beyond the senses.

i am currently neck deep into shaivism trying to understand if not realize its various facets. i have reached the end of the road as far as art history books are concerned, from here on the path is beginning to look different. i cannot follow cold blooded logic anymore, i need to emote. i need to start feeling it to get the complete drift.

this has raised questions, unexplained questions which are so difficult to understand because they restrict a person within the world of senses and do not let him look beyond that. strange questions like who are gandharvas, kinnaras, yakshas and yakshis. i have heard them to be some sort of spirits as aghora puts it believing in them is quite a different story.
there are other questions on why the path of circum-ambulation has been so important. its seems to be in line with the fields of energy that encircles the main garbha griha, which itself is the main store house of potent energy.
another thought is about the mention of vehicles like pushpaka vimana which can be controlled by the mind and necessarily has a charioteer. well that apart there are "divyastras" like the "pasupatastra" which can kill and destroy the whole universe. the rules of usage are precribed that it should not be "wasted" on a mere mortal as it can cause great harm, but should be used on a supernatural being privileged to handle it. it can be controlled by the mind, the eyes, as well as the bow.
well why look at people out of mythology, the lotus flower itself is believed to be a store house of energy. hence most of the energy centers along the spine in kundalini yoga are depictions of a lotus flower with varied number of petals, with the bija mantra of a particular deity embedded in them.
on a larger scale we can just wonder why the caves of elephanta (mumbai) are carved the way they are. its based on the mandala pattern of shiva, with most of his sculptures adorning its walls. Or for that matter why are there so many erotic sculptures around the temples of khajuraho? they conceal tantric diagrams of mandalas used to protect the temple, which distract the uninitiated from knowing the true value of these sculptures and delight them with raw sex instead.

to be honest our forefathers were not playing the fool. the temple of chidambaram was not constructed for fun but based on the energy center of one of the chakras known in kundalini yoga. hinduism is a way a life. it needs to be understood and passionately. its beyond the limits of the senses and therefore can only be experienced and cannot be explained. its subtle and complex and it requires deep intellect to get the hang of it.
the west will never get it right, because they are blinded by their senses. they believe in that which exists, that which can be touched, smelt, tasted, seen, or heard. within this limited scope the west has managed to prove certain things, the rest has largely been left to imagination.

there is a lot to learn here, and until we have the drive, we aint going to get anywhere near it. nothing comes easy, nothing can be spoon fed. thats the whole reason why we have lasted this long. i really wonder what kind of free world they are talking about. every thing has a meaning, every ritual has a purpose. maybe we are not half as interested to know what we are fully capable of.

3.08.2005

Its called the Trimurti cave

Mahabalipuram, Trimurti cave, Tamil Nadu:

Its a cave i have been missing for a while, and a long while at that. 7 years is a long time, to miss something which is so close to home!!! How could i miss it is all i ask myself right now!

but the feeling of discovering something new is great, specially when everything is so known in this little town. And a quaint little town it is. This cave is hidden, one needs to walk a little and hunt around and get there. Its hidden among rock caves, and its a complete beauty when its found!

this cave, dedicated to the trinity, has a few interesting features. it has three shrines, each dedicated to shiva, vishnu and brahma respectively. all three have flying ganas, a very shaivite symbolism. vishnu stands in samabhanga pose, stiff backed, hand resting on his hip. shiva looks half clad, brahma, well he didnt look himself.

there are three seperate entrances to each shallow shrine into the cave, the center one seems to be dedicated to shiva, though the corner one looked like they had sculpted him in the background. to be honest am still guessing here. but the interesting element is that this cave having been so well hidden that the shiva linga in the central cave still stands.

its a beautiful linga. black and clearly carved into three parts. The upper part is the "shiva bhaga" which is circular and depicts the linga in true style. The second part (lower) called the vishnu bhaga, is octagonal and the lowest half which is inserted into the yoni pitha is the brahma bhaga which is square, fitting perfectly into a square cavity in the stone floor.
the facade of this cave has a line of haras, in true dravida style of architecture. Among the dwarapalas who guard the entrances, there is a beautiful sculpture of the mother goddess, Mahishasuramardhini which looks more like an after thought to me.

a completely perfect cave... untouched by time.

2.24.2005

Importance to Vishnu in Kiratarjuniya Panel

Kiratarjuniya Panel, Mamallapuram, Tamil Nadu, India:

Beauty of this sculptural panel is that it is the depiction of the poetry of Bharavi, a poet during the Pallava period. The beauty of this panel is that it depicts poetry through a scultors eye. He describes a dramatic scene from the Mahabharata where arjuna does severe penance to aquire various weapons for war, from the Gods. This is one such story where Shiva tests Arjuna's devotion by being a hunter opponent who kills a wild boar at the same time as arjuna strikes it as well. Here Shiva, disguised as a hunter comes to Arjuna who is going through severe penance to aquire the "pasupatastra". Interesting name that denotes the pasupata cult of shaivism.



Thats the story. Now lets look at its reference with respect to the panel, and in relation to Vishnu. Through out vishnu's vahana Garuda, has been replaced by a boar, the Varaha incarnate. Yet in this panel there seems to be no reference to a boar, that was supposed to kill arjuna and definitely was not supposed to be Varaha.

Secondly, in the profound drama taking place across this panel, which strongly represents shaivism, there seem to be hints of Vaishnavite flavour in select areas. This picture displays Vishnu in true form, in Samabhanga pose( stiff, back straight, hand resting on hip) in a strong brahmin environment where, there is depicted a sage who is shown as a scribe here, with a few other headless disciples listening to his possible discourse. The ambience of a village or a gurukul has been most beautifully brought out.

This seems to be located near a river, which is brought to life every time it rains at mahabalipuram (a rarity around Chennai these days). Next to him are a series of sages taking a bath and worshipping the sun god. It is interesting to note that in the middle of this theatrical event, Vishnu has gathered a special place as the deity in a shrine, at the bottom of this panel. This is probably the only place where he is represented in this form.

2.17.2005

Vishnu on ananta - Mahabalipuram

Cave shrines at Mahabalipuram, Tamil Nadu:
Deviating from Shiva, Vishnu is depicted in a limited set of forms across Mahabalipuram. Well to think that shiva's somaskanda panel is all we get to see apart from Kiratarjuniya panel, vishnu cult definitely had more to show for it!

Yet its interesting to note that garuda, Vishnu's vahana is not seen anywhere. Here, Vishnu reclining on ananta is one of the most exploited concepts at Mahabalipuram. In this particular panel, he is seen reclining with Madhu and Kaitaba, two demons on the mode of silent attack .



A very relaxed Vishnu is sculpted lying on ananta, five hooded with attendants. Brahma is not there but is replaced by flying celetials. The beauty of these panels is that its represented not just in art but in dance as well. These stories have been depicted in art, dance and literature. All the forms of expression for a concept, whose subtle meaning still remains a question! What aspect of the subtle reality were they trying to tell us, its something i still fail to realize.

2.14.2005

Shiva - the enticer

He sits there silent, stone cold, like nothing ever bothers him. He is passive silent distant and truely unapproachable. His potency spreads like wild fire to all those who seek him, yet he sits there... silent unattainable.

to awaken him is tough, to tell him i have come is tough, to ask him to shower his attention on me is tough... to give up my ego is tough. How then do i ask him to look at me? how then do i ask him about life.. how then do i ask him to explain what brought me here... when he just sits there silent... shut.

i wait, wait and wait... while life just goes by... i patiently wait dreaming of him all the time. I wait just hoping somewhere he will notice me... i wait to just have him explain "me" to me. yet he sits there silent....

i give up, engulfed in anger, desperation.. dont you hear me... he doesnt budge... he tests me. i look for him around me, i try to figure him out. yet stone cold is all i see. where is your emotion, dont you have a heart. i have given up all to get here and you dont even take a glance? no... i should wait and watch... wait .. just wait .. thats all there is to it. I feel the chilling breeze, in my breath, i feel the chill in my throat. i feel the freshness in the air when i fix my mind on him.

there is no pleasure nor pain, there is no sign of life.. just calm, simple calm on his face. i dont know what to expect...yet i feel the heat rise. whats in his mind, whats in that world, that resembles a thousand petalled lotus? what is that energy which i know exists.. but i fail to just see it within my limited self.

i feel the heat in my eyes, i hear every beat of me heart. i can see the madness in every rising emotion as it rebels within my being... the noise inside me is hard to control, the fleeting emotions too hard to bear, while all lies silent outside... silent calm and cold. what is this that controls me, what is this that attracts. what is this makes me crave for it when i just cant seem to get.

is this something i imagine, is this something that really exists, what ever it is... i rather not question for i simply fail to understand it... i feel like him, i behave like him, i try to be him... yet incomplete... yet frustrating... where is the essence of him. all i want is a drop of him, a drop to bathe me in his being. as i sit and chop my human being, in sheer anger and frustration. as i shred it to pieces to look for him within... as i cry in pain and kill while i cant seem to find my answer.... i stop to hear the rhytm within myself...the rythm of of creation within myself.... shiva awakens within me.... and draws me to himself. the power uncontrolled, burns my aching body, his essence flows over and dissolves me within... i cease to exist anymore... i cease to think... i cease to be...

Shiva - the unattainable

Shiva, is self taught, raw, unadutrated truth, too hard to digest, too hard to comprehend, too hard to accept in our pathetic lives. he is the maverick, who casts his spell on those who are capable of taking it. he is potent, undigestable, at the same time loving in his own way.

to love shiva is to love none other. to want him is to give up all social rules and obligations, to attain him is to die a human. he is a spark that cannot be explained, yet vast and enveloping you at the same time. he is power, he is fear, he is truth, he is death. he is my madness within which lies dormant waiting to pour forth...

he is within me silent as ever, yet i feel his presence withing my walls. he empowers me to take on any problem... to live with it like that is life. he makes me accept the outlandish, he makes me give up myself. he is my breath, he makes me quiver, reveals to me a person i have never known. i have looked for him everywhere, they say he would come and teach me the way i can learn. i see him every where now beyond this mundane world i live, stuck in its own ignorance... i rise. its not simple, me heart aches, it pains...while it tells me to leave everything behind, leave every one behind.

from here on i tread alone, a road less travelled, a road feared, a road unknown. a road silent, a road throbbing with passion, a road unexplained, a road left to experience, a road dangerous, the mortal killer, oh lift me from this misery called life.. take me away from it... far far away...to an unknown world where i know nothing, i take birth to breath teh fresh potent air of love, of devotion.. of shiva...i sink, and yet in a sweet voice he says come.. i will take care of you.

he leaves me in tears.. he melts my heart, for him nothing else seems to matter no more. i awaken in his arms like a baby, where all i learn and see.. is his beauty...those eyes.. they are feared, respected, left alone. now he is with me...

2.11.2005

Vimana - a mysterious word in itself.

I have had a lot of people coming up with interesting comments on the Vimana. Here are a few view points! These are not discoveries made by these individuals, but ideas that have quite taken their fascination.

Mr. Joshi, a retired civil engineer doing his own research, a very interesting personality with unique ideas and experiences to narrate, is of the opinion that the pyramidal structure had a very close relation to the pyramids in egypt as well as those in Gautamala peninsula of the Mayas, conceptually, as its believed that there is a point in the center of the pyramid that holds mysteries of keeping anything lasting longer within its interiors.
Taking his view further, its indeed true that in the large pramid at giza, the kings chamber is exactly one third the distance from the bottom. This spot offers exceptional energies that increase the immortality curve for anything thats is perishable within its space(a mummy probably in this case as the egyptians are known to enbalm their dead). How does this apply to a vimana (dravida style down south in india, nagara style in north india or angkhor wat in cambodia) is anyones guess.

Srinivasan, a cartoonist, a coleague and a good friend of mine is of the opinion that vimanas are mainly vehicles or 'viman', which suits the temples as most of them were "chariots of the Gods". The pushpaka vimana(ravana abducted sita using this vehicle) has quite intrigued him, as a machine that has been described to be used to fly across the sky to transport devas and other divinities, and strictly has a charioteer. The science of this is of course lost maybe, but it does throw a lot of light on the Rathas as a vehicle. At ellora of course, there is a depiction of a chariot with sita while ravana fights jatayu.

The third opinion on the vimana is that it is a part of a larger structure that represents the human body, starting from the stupi (head) , the gala (neck) the vimana (body) ending in the kapota(roof) , the bhiti (walls) housing the garbha griha(womb house), the mandapas (legs), and finally the gajastambha as the feet. It depicts the human body seated with legs outstretched.

What ever the vimana ultimately meant, it reached the pinnacle of expression in the temple of tanjore and gangaikondacholapuram in the south and that of khandriya mahadeva in the north, at khajuraho. Its depiction raises serious question on what a vimana was viewed to be. Was it a pyramidal structure that defined the path to heaven for the human soul to rise, was it a pyramidal structure that preserved perishable material for longer within its walls or was it a Chariot that flew across the sky transporting celestial beings.Was it a representation of mount kailasa with all its minor vimanas tapering towards the highest pinnacle or was it a representation of the human body being the personification of the atman within?

Honestly, i wouldnt know! Please let me know what you think!

2.08.2005

Dharmaraja Ratha - A shiva iconographic catalogue

The Dharmaraja ratha being the largest of the rathas, has been dedicated to shiva. It has a stone ladder which reaches up to the first floor where sculptures are carved into various niches of the ground floor as well as the first two upper storeys, offering a catalogue of pallava iconography, in a three storeyed vimana. The dharmaraja ratha is unfinished, but the first storey has been hollowed out and is empty. The figures in the niches of the dharmaraja ratha are in perfect early pallava style of sculpture. There are shallow porticos on three sides of the ratha and an equally shallow porch projects from the west.

The dharmaraja ratha is an Anarpita vimana ie. the haras are not attached to the Haramyas, thus leaving a circumambulatory passage behind. This permitted niches with sculptures on the haramya wall, figures of shiva decorate all the three talas, which were meant to have sanctuaries. The aditala was intended to consist of a sanctuary surrounded by a pradakshina patha, with closed walls only at the four corners. The aditala has eight scupltural panels. Two figures of shiva, each with four arms face west. Brahma and harihara face north. Shiva ardhanarishwara and skanda as Gurumurthi face east. Four armed shiva and royal figures face south.

Madhya tala of the unfinished sanctuary with its shallow portico occupy the center of the western side. Flanked by pairs of dwarapalas and shiva kankalamurti other sculptures include, shiva vinadhara, four armed shiva with a atandu, shiva with chandesa, gangadhara, vishnu leaning on garuda and vrishabhantika(vrishabhavana ).

Interestingly, the dharmaraja ratha also lays the architectural foundation of possibilities for the designs of the Kailashnatha temple at Kanchi as well as the Vaikunta Perumal temple. These temples lead to the upper floors, which in later temples is lavishly painted and left in the dark inner passages around the sanctum.


2.04.2005

Dharmaraja Ratha - true beauty in dravida style

Gigantic with respect to all the other rathas found here, the dharmaraja ratha is a chariot of the Lord Shiva. A larger version of the Arjuna ratha, it displays all the aspects of true dravida style. A pyramidal structure with 3 tiers before the shikhara appears, here also called the stupi.



There are various interpretations to this stupi. One is that it represents the peak of Mount Meru, the other is that its has been influenced by the buddhist stupa, which is actually a mound for the dead (a sort of ancestral worship where the ancestors were the various gurus in the buddhist sangha and not exactly blood relations). The largest of its kind can be seen on a 10 ton rock atop the brihadeshwara temple in Tanjore.

The haras contain smaller rooflets called karnakutas(corners) and shalakutas (broader in center). One can walk along the first floor through a flight of steps. The next best temple to really show the true characterestics of dravida architecture under the pallavas is at kailashanatha temple at kanchipuram, where entry into the top floors is from the back of the temple. This ratha is obviously incomplete. yet there are hints of squarting lions supporting pillars. This temple is rich in iconography as it displays shiva in various roles around the main body of the temple. It has to be noted here that pallava sculpture compare to their neighbours was very simplified puerly becuase of the hardness of the rock like granite. Its in the later periods that they manage to handle the stone far better. This also indicates the adventurous move into stone from wood.


2.01.2005

Nakula sahadeva ratha - Temple for Indra

Indra is a deity very closely associated with Buddhism, the edicts of Ashoka were carved on pillars which took their idea from his staff. The story of Indra goes way back to pre aryan beliefs of water cosmology. The edicts were engraved on pillars which laid the foundation for later styles of pillar architecture.



The buddhist chaityas were the first to display such maturity in style, where the symbolic pot containing the tree of life was actually enhanced into pillars, still retaining its original form and sybolism. Of course along the way this changes but traces of it are seen in this ratha right here at mahabalipuram.

Whats interesting about this ratha is that it takes its idea from a remote chaitya in besra, where the chaitya griha and the vihara have been incorporated into the one single building. Yet when a chaitya griha is removed from the live rock and reproduced as a structural temple, or carved out of monolithic rock, what appears finally is the nakula sahadeva ratha. The barrel vaulted roof from the outside now appears like "gajaprshta" or elephant back side which is very clear in this picture. Hence its also clear with the monolithic rock elephant carved next to it, that the cave has been dedicated to Indra. Whats stands out most is the prominent arch window at the entrance of the ratha, depicting the altar inside, though the real altar is not carved into the rock as its rather small. The pillars of this ratha though are more inclined towards pallava style than towards the old buddhist tradition of pot based pillars. Two lines of haras crown the super structure indicating a merger of two architectural traditions - buddhist and dravida.

It might also be of great interest that the first cave at ajanta actually depicts a small dravida temple from mahabalipuram on its walls, indicating a healthy exchange of ideas between the two regions.